Tuesday, March 31, 2009Ending Our Enslavement to the Scale Once And For All!
When you wake up in the morning, do you immediately want to jump on the scale or examine your body in the mirror?
What is it you are trying to accomplish? What Gods are you trying to appease? Is it the God of the outside-in, the one who tells you that you are okay or not by the pounds you weigh or the flesh on your abdomen? Let's slow the process down and notice what happens...You wake up, not fully conscious yet, not wholly in your body. The first thoughts that come to you are "how did I do last night?; Was I "good"?; Did I lose weight?; Was I "bad"?; Did I overeat and put on 2 pounds?. Uncertainty and anxiety arise. It feels imperative to have the mirror or the scale TELL YOU if you are okay, if you are good enough. The numbers are your masters, your authorities, the ones who can make or break your day by their split-second pronouncements. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the thinnest one of all? Every morning, you hope that these authorities will reward you, tell you indeed that you are good enough, maybe even great. You will then be able to go on with your day with your head high, your confidence raised, and maybe even a swagger in those thin hips of yours. Be aware, though,that this happiness is fleeting: eat 100 calories "too much", run 5 mns less than you "should" and you could quickly incur the wrath of your gods all over again. You are not safe for long. What about those days when the scale or the mirror, the Gods, tell you instead that you have gained weight? Without a doubt, you are being told that you are a screw-up, a failure, a weakling, a good-for-nothing human being who will never succeed at anything but stuffing your face. Your day is ruined. You throw on your largest sweatpants, a large shirt, and try to hide your body most of the day. You spend your time battling between the gods who are ordering you to starve yourself today because you deserve to be punished and the part of you that wants to eat and eat and eat because you are worthless anyway...Can you see how much pain you let into your life through these Gods? Is there a solution, a way to free yourself from these Gods that they can stop ruling your life with an iron fist??? GET RID OF THE SCALE!!!(or any external ways to evaluate your body, including the mirror, pants, etc..) Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get rid of these false Gods as soon as you are ready. Can you understand that you have been letting "things" define who you are and/or whether you are good enough? Are you aware by now that these false Gods won't ever bring you the happiness that they promise you? Are you willing to take a leap of faith and find out who you are and who your Body is from the inside-out? I promise you that you will discover a journey filled with so much more happiness than you ever expected. Yes, the false gods give you the short-term, immediate possibility of pleasure (if you've been good), but they drag along with it a tremendous amount of pain as well. Working from the inside-out is not as immediately pleasurable, but it will bring you joy and peace and love that is deep and lasting. Let me know when you get rid of your false Gods! Let's take this journey to the inside-out together. Friday, February 20, 2009Interview about Isabelle Tierney about how to love your body!
FEATURED INTERVIEW in Vive News
real world, real people, real results The Body Beloved, the inside out way of loving your body with Isabelle Tierney Isabelle Tierney is a licensed marriage and family therapist who holds an M.A. from Tufts University in Child Development, a certificate in Play Therapy, a certificate in Brennan Healing Science, and an M.A. from Boston University in International Relations and Communications. She's been in private practice internationally since 1996 with a specialty in eating disorders. We sat down with Isabelle Tierney to learn more about her Body Beloved philosophy. Here's what she had to say. VIVE: Please share with us broadly the philosophy that you have developed that helps us learn how to love our bodies from the inside out. ISABELLE: Yes, it's called Body Beloved, the inside out way of loving your body. I have found that most of us try to love our bodies by loving the outside of our bodies. We say to ourselves, "If my body looks good from the outside, if it looks thin enough or buff enough, then I can love my body. If it isn't perfect from the outside, then I need to hate my body." A much deeper and more effortless way to love your body is to love it from the inside out because our bodies are incredible, magnificent creations that are capable of doing miracles for us 24/7. VIVE: It sounds like you dive into more of the internal interactions of how we view and treat our bodies. When I go to the gym, I think about whether I was good or bad because I had those four cookies last night. ISABELLE: One of the ways that I work with the body is by seeing it as a partner, a partner that I can choose to love or hate. I used to go to the gym to lose weight because my thin body meant that I was "good enough". This became obsessive and exhausting and eventually fruitless, because the size of my thighs does not determine who I really am. It also led me to constantly hate my body, because it could never be as thin as I thought it should be. Now I go to the gym with a completely different attitude. I go to the gym to actively love my body, to give it a gift to thank it for all the work it constantly does for me. For example, I dedicate my workout to a specific body part, be it my heart, my muscles, my bones. As I exercise, I focus and feel gratitude for that body part, and my workouts become filled with love and with joy rather than hate and obsession. It's fabulous! VIVE: So you find that this is actually motivating? I like how you're talking about dedicating an action to an outcome. Now, when it comes to eating how do you apply this same philosophy? ISABELLE: Same thing, right? We're eating to feed our bodies, and the more we eat things that support our bodies, the more the body is going to thrive. When you give it, let's say, avocados and salmon, this is actually food that the body can use to feel better and work better for you. When I eat junk, I think, "My body's just having to work harder for no reason just because I'm wanting those cookies." I try as often as I can to eat food that actually enhances and helps my body stay strong and healthy. Then it's a win-win. If I give it good food, it's going to work better which, in turn, means I'm going to feel better. In seeing my body as my partner, I actually practice four relationship skills that we all use every day with people in our lives. Practicing these skills does not only make me take better care of my body but also improves my ability to use them towards other relationships as well! Skill #1: Listening. How well do I listen to my body, its hunger, its fullness, its tiredness? Skill #2: Positive Communication. Do I speak kindly towards my body? Do I use loving words? Skill #3: Give and Take. How do we meet our body's needs and our personality's needs when they aren't always in sync, ie. when I want a cookie and my body really needs vegetables. Skill #4: Active Loving. Can I do a loving act towards my body at least once a day, treating it as though it was my beloved? VIVE: Our theme for this issue of VNN is Valentine's Day or love. What's one thing you'd leave us with in closing? ISABELLE: That you're missing out on the most loving relationship in your whole life if you miss out on seeing what a partner you have with your body. There is literally no other partner out there that is as perfect, amazing and miraculous as your body and we often miss it because we are so busy hating how it looks! The Body Beloved is all about inviting you to shift your perception of your body from the outside-in to the inside-out, allowing you to open up to love and gratitude every day of your life. VIVE: Thank you Isabelle. We look forward to speaking with you again soon and providing us with monthly tips on how to love our bodies. ISABELLE: Thank you. Thursday, February 05, 2009I wish my Body could speak louder!
A client and I were commiserating today about how we wish that our bodies could more clearly let us know when we are hurting them. If I anger my husband, hurt my children, or disappoint a friend, I will usually know by seeing and/or hearing their reactions. This will allow me to change my behavior, as I don't want to purposefully hurt anyone.
Our bodies are not so clear. Just like the Earth, we can hurt them over and over again without feeling a great cost. Yes, we might feel overfull, tired, or achy, but so what...It is so easy to ignore those sensations. We know they'll pass anyway. We know that we won't get "in trouble" as we would with a loved one. One of my best friends is battling breast cancer. She told me that she is convinced that she got it because she didn't take care of her body for so many years. Her body has finally spoken loudly enough to be heard. She is now being incredibly loving and kind to it and we both hope and pray that she'll be able to heal. Do you really want to wait to get sick to finally listen your body? Our bodies are constantly communicating to us, but they sound like the "still, small voice" that we so often refer to as God. Can you take the time to listen fully to that voice? It speaks with a language of sensations that you need to learn to decipher for yourself. Overfullness might actually means that your body was given too much to eat and now has to work long hours to digest. Exhaustion might mean that you are not nourishing your body enough. Achyness could imply that your body is getting sick, or that you've overworked it, or that it's tired. The body communicates through thousands of sensations every day. We can choose to listen to it or not. We can choose to complain that it's not clear enough or loud enough. I know what I want to do: I want to keep practicing listening, for not only will it make me a better listener of my body, it will make me a better listener for anyone who enters my world. My body is my teacher and I am deeply grateful. Labels: loving your body, overeating. exhaustion. Monday, May 05, 2008Practicing a Miracle with your Body:Shifting your Perception
In my last columns, I wrote about practicing relationship skills with our bodies, allowing us to heal not only that relationship, but our relationships with others as well. Today, I focus on the first relationship skill, Active Attention.
One of the reasons so many of us struggle with our Bodies is because we don’t really see them for what they are. We only see the surface, the outside, and miss out on the depth and wonder of the inside. Just like when we make conclusions about someone from his/her external appearance, our society has taught us to make conclusions about our bodies from the way they look: is your body thin enough? Does it have cellulite? Are your breasts perky or droopy? Is your stomach flat? The answers to these questions determine what we think and feel about our bodies: if it’s thin enough, we like our body. If it’s not, it’s unworthy and shameful. This is a form of prejudice that creates tremendous hatred and violence. Practicing Active Attention provides an antidote to our distorted seeing. We expand our focus beyond surface appearance to the whole Body, inside and out. We shift our perception from seeing our body as a lifeless object to a life-filled entity which performs miracles for us 24/7. Do you know that your heart beats 100,000 times a day? Or that there are 3 million cells in one square inch of skin whose sole purpose is to protect you from environmental stressors? Can you imagine that your blood goes on a 60,000 mile journey and circulates in your body in 23 seconds? Today, make a commitment to really getting to know your Body, the way we get to know a Beloved when we first fall in love. Who is your Body? What do you know about your cells, your intestines, your heart, your blood? Have you ever thought about the wonders of your bones or your muscles? I promise you this: the more energy you spend practicing Active Attention with your Body, the more peace, love, and well-being you will reap. It’s a win/win situation! Labels: body image, eating disorders, emotional eating, loving your body Wednesday, April 30, 2008Interview with Isabelle in the Daily Camera of Boulder
Daily Camera Article, 4/29/08 in the Fit Section
Brief bio: (include what you do for a living here): I am a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in body image, eating disorders, and relationship problems. I am also an energy healer, graduate of the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. I am passionate about eating disorders education and prevention, co-founding the Boulder County Eating Disorders Coalition and doing trainings throughout the State. I am writing a book, the Body Beloved: the Inside-out Way to Loving your Body, that introduces the radical proposition that your relationship with your body offers a rich spiritual path designed to help you uncover your Highest Self. Philosophy when working with clients: I believe in working from love and acceptance. To heal means to make whole, not rejecting any parts of ourselves but rather embracing them with compassion. I believe that our bodies are magnificent creations who deserve kindness and care and that healing our relationship with them can benefit that relationship and our relationship with others, both past and present. How did you get involved with health care? I struggled with an eating disorder for most of my young adult life. In my healing journey, I learned that eating disorders are not merely an obstacle we need to get rid of but are integral in helping us become more loving human beings. I became a therapist to help others heal with that understanding. What are your favorite healthy foods? Your favorite workouts? I practice living in relationship with my body, listening to its needs, taking into account my own, and finding ways to meet both. If I really want French fries, I will have them but will make sure to meet my body’s needs later through some protein or vegetables. Or if my Body tells me it needs to move while I’d rather stay on the couch, I will go to the gym but will make sure to take a nice hot bath for my own pleasure later. This is a relationship that requires me to be present to what is happening in the moment rather than living from a fixed set of rules that have nothing to do with me or my Body. What is the best health advice you ever received? Eat when hungry. Stop before you’re full. It is so simple and yet so difficult to practice. It’s the only true way to feed our bodies, as it takes our bodies’ needs into account. Who else BUT your body knows what it needs?! What is your personal health care routine? I only eat complex carbohydrates for lunch and breakfast, as my body has repeatedly shown me that it does not digest them well at night. I work out 5 to 6 days a week, because it gives me time to be with my body, to give it strength, and to increase its energy to support me in my busy life. I practice listening to my body and making decisions that create the most love. Am I perfect yet? No, and I will probably never be. But like with any relationship, I keep trying my best and let it teach me what I still have to learn. How can people contact you? You can call me at 303-817-6912, email me at isabelle@bodybeloved.com, or visit my web sites, www.bodybeloved.com, and www.thehabitexperts.com. Thursday, April 12, 2007Just Relax: How to release stress in minutes
From Parade Magazine, September 24th, 2006 (The bolded statements are mine)
Stress is your body's normal response to a threat of any kind and the "danger" does not have to be huge. It can be running late for a meeting or having an argument with a friend or colleague. Even if the danger is small, our bodies release chemicals that have a galvanizing effect on every cell. Many Americans today -facing long hours at work, financial pressure, and problems with spouses and children-constantly are under stress. Even childhood is not as simple as it once was, and adolescents have a full vocabulary of stress. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can learn simple techniques to keep a clear head, reduce your stress, and put less strain on your body. 1. TAKE A DEEP BREATH OR TWO (AND USE THE MANDALA CARDS!) The most direct way to de-stress is to take two or three slow, deep breaths whenever you notice that you are anxious or under strain. This is not as easy as it sounds, because when you experience a threat, the center of your breathing moves from your belly to your chest, and your breathing becomes quicker and shallower. Your body then sets in motion the sympathetic branch of your nervous system, which releases the stress hormones and suppresses the parasympathetic branch, which triggers the flow of chemicals that have a calming effect. The good news is that, by paying attention to your breathing (and using the Stop and Breathe mandala card), you can switch off the stressed parts of your nervous system and return to a state of calm. As you inhale, imagine that your belly is a balloon and you are slowly filling it with air. As you exhale, make sure your belly stays relaxed as it lets the air out. 2. THINK THE GOOD STUFF (AND USE THE MANDALA CARDS) Since stress is the body's way of dealing with threats, a simple way to de-stress is to use your body's response to good things to your advantage. A few moments spent thinking how lucky you are to be alive or how in awe you are of nature's beauty all send a chemical that life is good throughout your body. Though we react to threat in a 10th of a second, it takes longer for the "all clear" to sound. We have to spend 6 to 10 seconds appreciating our good fortune (or meditating on the mandalas picture in the cards) for our body to relax. But if you can produce a genuine smile, then your body cannot feel stressed at all. 3. SLOW DOWN When you multi-task, -by talking on the phone while driving, for example-, your body and mind require more energy. When you slow down, you relax your body and reduce the demands on your mind. So when feeling stressed, do a common activity slowly, carefully, and with focused attention. Even getting up from your desk slowly gives your nervous system a break. (Use either "Consider the consequences" or "What is the kindest choice?" cards to remind you how stress affects your body and how you could slow down.) 4. CHANGE THE TAPE Sometimes, all we need to do to de-stress is to change the tape that runs in our heads. Most of us have a habit of making problems worse by saying things to ourselves like, "This is terrible", or "I have really screwed up". Instead, say supportive and positive things to yourself, such as "I can deal with this", or "I deserve success and good fortune." 5. LET IT GO There are occasions in life when you need to recognize that you cannot change the situation. In those cases, you can make a conscious decision not to stress yourself out over something that you can't make different or better. (Use "It's just a passing thought" card to remind you that thoughts come and go if you just give them time and don't hold on to them.) As I say over and over again, the more you use the mandala cards, the more you and your body heals. So go ahead and place them everywhere around your home. You WILL change your life! Do NOT Diet: It's Bad for your Health!
This is the message a group of researchers is sending, saying that not only does dieting not work in the long term, but it is also potentially dangerous for your health. The study is published in the April edition of American Psychologist, the journal of the American Psychological Association and details the work of researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles, who reviewed 31 long-term studies lasting between 2 to 5 years. UCLA associate professor of psychology and lead author of the study, Traci Mann said: “You can initially lose 5 to 10 percent of your weight on any number of diets, but then the weight comes back. We found that the majority of people regained all the weight, plus more,” she added. “Diets do not lead to sustained weight loss or health benefits for the majority of people,” said Dr Mann, shattering an age-long belief that restraining from food for a period of time will help a person lose weight – and keep it that way. The study suggests that whatever benefits there are to be obtained through dieting, in the long run, negative side effects outweigh advantages. Dr Mann and her team analyzed every study they could find that followed people on diets for 2 to 5 years. Studies that take less than 2 years are “too short to show whether dieters have regained the weight they lost,” they said. They found that it would have been better for most of them if they had not gone on a diet at all. “Their weight would be pretty much the same, and their bodies would not suffer the wear and tear from losing weight and gaining it all back,” explained Dr Mann. Repeatedly losing and gaining weight has been linked, in previous studies, to cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes and altered immune function. While people on diets lose an average of 5 to 10 per cent of their weight in the first 6 months, 33 to 66 per cent of these persons regain more than what they lose within 4 to 5 years. And this is not a complete picture either. The figures do not reflect reality because participants phone or mail their results in themselves, without an impartial assessor. Also, many studies have a below 50 per cent follow up rate; and the people who put on a lot of weight are less likely to stay in touch. UCLA graduate student of psychology and co-author of the study, Janet Tomiyama said that “Several studies indicate that dieting is actually a consistent predictor of future weight gain.” She referred to a study that studied links between lifestyle and weight in 19,000 healthy older men over four years. This study found that, “One of the best predictors of weight gain over the four years was having lost weight on a diet at some point during the years before the study started,” she said. Dr Mann said: “Exercise may well be the key factor leading to sustained weight loss. Studies consistently find that people who reported the most exercise also had the most weight loss.” The study did not name any diets in particular, but looked at a broad spectrum of approaches. Professor Mann said in her opinion eating in moderation was a good idea for everybody as was regular exercise.
Friday, February 02, 2007Article in the Daily Camera by Isabelle on Body Image
In the mirror: Teens struggle with body image(Daily Camera, 1/29/07)
The 13-year-old girl refused to untie her sweater from around her waist. She was ashamed of her stomach. She thought everyone was looking at how fat it was, like it was a deformity. She began dieting and weighing herself about 20 times a day. She was at the edge of developing an eating disorder, but her mother caught her just in time. She brought her daughter to a therapist, and within two months, the girl began loosening up the sweater until she felt confident enough to lose it completely. The girl's therapist described her as "teeny tiny" — no stomach bulge at all. But the girl saw her body differently. Like many other American teenagers — mostly girls — she had a warped body image. A person's body image is not necessarily connected to reality, local therapists say. Think: If you're having a good day and you feel upbeat, you are more likely to think you look good. If you're stressed and depressed, you are likely to feel unattractive, even if you look the same as you usually do. Developing a healthy body image is crucial for adolescents; a negative image can lead to a lifetime of eating disorders and low self-esteem. And these perceptions begin at the beginning. Even toddlers pick up messages from society, their parents, daycare and friends about how they should view their bodies. If parents don't clear up mixed messages and let their children know they are more than their body shape, children can start to act out dangerous eating habits. Local therapists tell stories about increasingly more preteens popping diet pills, skipping lunch or heading to the bathrooms at school to purge what they do eat at lunch. One 4-year-old girl refused to eat the snacks at her preschool because she was afraid of getting fat. Two-thirds of all American girls have been on a diet before the age 10. Nearly half of 9- to 11-year-olds are "sometimes" or "very often" on diets, according to a study by Colgate University. Forty-two percent of first- to third-grade girls said they want to be thinner, another national study showed. Eighty percent of 10-year-olds said in another national survey they were afraid of being fat. Superior-based therapist Dorie McCubbrey knows that fear firsthand. She developed an eating disorder in elementary school, after seeing most of the women in her family diet regularly. Parents have a tremendous impact as role models for their children, be it good or bad, McCubbrey says. "This is the season right now to be losing weight," says McCubbrey, who now counsels people on healthy weight maintenance and body acceptance. "There are healthy ways to lose weight, and if you are trying to lose weight, be very careful about what you say in front of your kids, because they will pick it up." When a person's body image is inaccurate, it often means they're using their body as something they can change when they feel like their life is out of control, according to McCubbrey. She saw one 6-year-old girl who refused to eat after her parents got a divorce. "Any kind of trauma, whether mild or severe, can trigger someone to use their body as a means of control," McCubbrey says. "And that needs to be taken very seriously." 'Your body's a wonderland' Isabelle Tierney, a therapist in Boulder, says 80 percent of her clients struggle with their body image. She speaks to local students and trains school counselors about positive body image. Few people admire their bodies for the "marvels" that they are, Tierney says. She often guides her clients through meditation where they think about their skin, muscles, blood, the cells and the complex organs inside. "Nobody teaches kids and adolescents how incredible the body is, the way the muscles work," she says. "It allows me to jump, run, wrestle. When you start seeing your body, as opposed to an object that is supposed to look a certain way to be liked, but as a magnificent system — and if you take care of it, it'll work for you — it shifts you into an incredible place where you think, 'Wow, my body is amazing.'" Tierney runs the Web site, www.bodybeloved.com, which teaches and "inside-out" view on body image. That means letting your inside define your outside, rather than letting your feelings depend on what's going on outside: How others view you, whether you're in a good mood, if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Tierney recommends teaching this as young as possible. "I have three kids myself, and I always say, 'What does your body need? Take care of this machine working for you,'" she says. Celebrating real beauty As a teenager, Audrey Brashich got caught up in society's definition of beauty. She was a teen model, landing gigs with magazines such as YM, Seventeen, Elle Girl, Cosmo Girl, Lucky and Self. Brashich also was elected to her New York high school's student government, one of the first girls chosen since the school's founding in 1709, she says. No one seemed to care about that. "I was in a bunch of magazines, and a lot of people were asking me about that," she says. "Why is that so much more important than something else that took a lot of intelligence to achieve?" Brashich, who now lives in Canada, says society's messages to girls perplexed her. So she decided to do some research. Brashich published a book in May, "A Girl's Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype and Celebrating Real Beauty," a body image and media literacy guide for teens. She says some girls don't realize there is more to life than feeling "pretty." "The girls I've spoken to are torn. They want to fit in to what is beautiful, but be valued for other things they know are important and are told are important," she says. She urges parents and teachers to talk to their children about what they see in the media — "raise questions and get kids thinking about what they see," she says. "If you ask kids what's important in a role model, they'll make a mini list, or if you ask them what professions are the most important in the world, they'll probably say doctors and teachers," Brashich says. "Then ask them to name famous doctors and teachers, and they'll have a harder time. It shows them that we know these things are important, yet we don't see them in the media. Let's find them." Contact Camera Staff Writer Aimee Heckel at (303) 473-1359 or heckela@dailycamera.com. Archives - Previous Posts
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